Navigating Grief during the Holidays

The holiday season can be especially difficult when you are grieving. While the world around you may feel focused on celebration, togetherness, and joy, your experience may be very different. Familiar traditions, gatherings, and expectations can intensify feelings of loss, bringing waves of emotion when you least expect them. If the holidays feel heavier this year, please know that you are not alone—and there is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way.

Many people who are grieving carry quiet, painful thoughts such as “I should be over this by now” or “I need to stay strong for others.” These beliefs can create pressure and self-judgment, particularly during the holidays. Grief does not follow a timeline, and strength does not mean hiding your pain. It is okay to feel exactly as you do.

Grief during the holidays can show up in many ways. You may experience sadness, guilt, anxiety, exhaustion, loneliness, or a deep sense of disconnection. You might notice that your body feels more tired than usual, or that social interactions feel overwhelming. The contrast between holiday expectations and your lived reality can be painful, and it’s natural to struggle when things don’t feel the way they once did.

It can help to remember that grief evolves. The holidays may never look or feel the same and that’s okay. Traditions can ebb, flow, and change over time. You are allowed to adapt old traditions, take a break from them, or create new rituals that feel more supportive to you right now. There is no obligation to do things the way they’ve always been done.

If you are supporting children while grieving, it’s important to remember that they may express their feelings differently than adults. Honest, gentle conversations and simple reassurances can help them feel safe. Letting children see that it’s okay to feel sad can also teach them that grief is a natural part of love.

Above all, this season calls for compassion especially toward yourself. Pay attention to your needs. Set boundaries when necessary. Pace yourself. Rest when you can. You do not need to attend every gathering, meet every expectation, or explain your grief to anyone. Caring for yourself is not selfish; it is essential.

Even in the midst of grief, moments of comfort or joy may still appear—sometimes unexpectedly. Allow them in without guilt. Feeling joy does not mean you have forgotten or moved on. It simply means that love and grief can exist together.

If you are struggling this holiday season, please know that your grief is valid, your experience matters, and you deserve care and understanding. Take each moment as it comes. You are doing the best you can—and that is enough.

Note: “Coping Through the Holidays was a supportive grief group (held in December) focused on navigating the unique challenges that often arise during the holiday season. We explored common myths about grief (e.g., "I should be over this by now", "I need to stay strong for others) and discussed how the holidays can intensify emotional, physical, and relational grief responses including sadness, guilt, anxiety, fatigue, loneliness, and feelings of disconnection. The group reflected on the tension between holiday expectations and lived reality, and how self-judgment can emerge when those expectations aren't met. We also discussed the evolving realities of grief- how traditions, emotions, and meaning may change over time- and offered permission to adapt traditions or create new rituals that feel more supportive. Additional topics included supporting children through the holidays and the importance of self-care, boundaries, and pacing. The group emphasized compassion, flexibility, and honouring grief in ways that feel authentic during this season.” - Paige Howard

Journey Through Grief is a monthly series at St. Joseph’s Hospice of London, offering a safe and compassionate space to explore loss in its many forms.

Each session focuses on a different aspect of grief, providing gentle guidance, shared reflection, and practical strategies to support emotional healing. This group offers connection with others who truly understand. Join us once a month for conversation, insight, and community as we walk together through the healing process.