The Elephant in the Room
Talking about death can feel uncomfortable. It’s the “elephant in the room” that many of us avoid—out of fear, sadness, or uncertainty. Yet, at Hospice, we know that avoiding the conversation doesn’t make it easier. In fact, it can make the experience harder for both ourselves and our loved ones.
That’s where Ellie, the elephant in the room, comes in.
Just like real elephants, who show compassion when a member of their herd is dying—standing by their side, mourning their loss, and never forgetting—Ellie reminds us that grief and love are inseparable parts of life. She encourages us to face what feels overwhelming with courage, honesty, and care.
Can We Talk About Dying?
“Make friends with death. Get comfortable with it, and you will have a much fuller, happier life.” While this idea may sound unsettling at first, becoming comfortable with death does not mean wishing for it, it means creating space for open, honest conversations about what matters most.
This includes sharing how we hope to spend our final days, who we want by our side, and documenting those wishes in an Advance Directive. Many people who take this step describe a sense of relief, feeling lighter and freer knowing their wishes are clear.
For loved ones, it is an extraordinary gift, removing the burden of uncertainty and preventing difficult decisions from falling solely to medical staff. Without these conversations, families may never know what their loved one wanted, and care may unfold in ways they never would have chosen. Talking about it now ensures dignity, clarity, and peace when it matters most.
Hospice and the Gift of Care
As Rick Firth, President and CEO of Hospice Palliative Care Ontario, said:
“We’re all going to die, and we’re all losing loved ones. And now more than ever people need the right care in the right place at the end of life, as well as support with loss and grief. Hospice is about helping people live well right to the end of life. Anyone who has experienced hospice care with a loved one knows that dying and loss need not be a frightening and negative experience, it can be a healing and memorable time.”
This is what Ellie represents: a reminder that death does not have to be hidden, feared, or defined only by loss. It can also be about connection, dignity, and healing.
Ellie as a Companion
Ellie helps us acknowledge the “elephant in the room” in a gentle, approachable way.
For children, Ellie can be a comforting friend—someone to talk to when grief feels too big.
For adults, Ellie opens the door to conversations that bring peace, clarity, and strength.
For our community, Ellie symbolizes compassion, resilience, and the courage to face hard things together.
Let’s Talk About the Elephant in the Room
Talking about death doesn’t bring it closer. But avoiding it leaves families unprepared and uncertain. The sooner we acknowledge Ellie, the more likely it is our wishes are respected, and our final days are spent with dignity and love.
📌 Take a step today: Talk to your loved ones about what matters most to you. Write it down. Share it with your family and doctor. And know that, when the time comes, Hospice will be there to walk alongside you—with compassion, comfort, and care.